it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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