let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize