Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
