You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there