he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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