My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...