im having a threesome with these popsicles
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.