the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.