I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
