forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
