Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Welp...herpes.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
