Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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