you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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