we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
