idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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