how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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