Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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