i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
