Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
