he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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