hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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