Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
