R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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