we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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