That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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