Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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