I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm really busy with my period
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