i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
