Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
