you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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