fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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