thus making me awesome and them whores
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
