I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
