So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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