Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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