unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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