mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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