hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize