I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
