summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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