Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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