Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
