Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
