Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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