She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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