Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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