If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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