Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
