this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
