cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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