Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
