I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
