I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
