she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Life is so much better after having sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
