Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
