He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
