Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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