Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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