do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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