i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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