So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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