yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
