Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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