I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.