ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  i don't like sucking hair

  Fav 4 893 1676

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  id be glad to

  Fav 19 2141 1737

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

  Fav 18 1770 7022

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

  Fav 14 2109 3770

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

  Fav 5 916 2564

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

  Fav 12 2361 978

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.

  Fav 10 2695 1059

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

  Fav 14 2611 905

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

  Fav 18 2555 832

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

  Fav 2 907 460

  share tweet
  

• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?

  (1-867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".

  Fav 0 923 448

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.

  Fav 1 518 148

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?

  Fav 1 230 92

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"

  Fav 1 68 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him

  Fav 0 22 34

  share tweet
  

Randomize