Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now. http://tfl.nu/zi6o
  Replies (16) Good night (1606) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support. http://tfl.nu/g29g
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (2653)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand. http://tfl.nu/ttma
  Replies (20) Good night (953) Bad night (3752)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  dont be selfish, show some boob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me (781): dont be selfish, show some boob http://tfl.nu/w4jv
  Replies (54) Good night (7214) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/m1h1
  Replies (10) Good night (3867) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three. http://tfl.nu/q18f
  Replies (36) Good night (6633) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up... http://tfl.nu/7mfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1166) Bad night (2518)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches." http://tfl.nu/amaz
  Replies (5) Good night (2859) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n
  Replies (30) Good night (3485) Bad night (1697)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person. http://tfl.nu/f02c
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero http://tfl.nu/0ytb
  Replies (1) Good night (1713) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf
  Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1188) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass. http://tfl.nu/ehtn
  Replies (8) Good night (1855) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related. http://tfl.nu/jwal
  Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (324)

Randomize