Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace. http://tfl.nu/mzqe
  Replies (8) Good night (1051) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8
  Replies (10) Good night (3866) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it. http://tfl.nu/sxq7
  Replies (9) Good night (1069) Bad night (3654)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx
  Replies (7) Good night (3124) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked. http://tfl.nu/x6mr
  Replies (14) Good night (3463) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb. http://tfl.nu/7di2
  Replies (2) Good night (2985) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/gg69
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (2092)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight. http://tfl.nu/0gxd
  Replies (11) Good night (2200) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy http://tfl.nu/5thn
  Replies (9) Good night (2372) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant http://tfl.nu/jhvb
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8
  Replies (6) Good night (1522) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives. http://tfl.nu/zjhm
  Replies (1) Good night (1230) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks. http://tfl.nu/wf91
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (303)

Randomize