he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down