so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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