Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
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You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am