Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
