Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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