This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
